चूहा

एक चीता Cigarette का सुट्टा लगाने ही वाला था, एक हाथी अफीम पी रहा था , चूहा बोला,"मेरे भाई छोड़ दो नशा आओ मेरे साथ खुबसूरत जंगल देखो" 2 साथ दौड़ने लगा.आगे शेर whisky पीने की तैयारी कर रहा था , चूहे ने उसे भी वही कहा. शेर ने चूहे को 5- 6 थप्पड़ मारे.हाथी बोला ," अरे ये तो तुम्हे ज़िन्दगी की तरफ ले जा रहा है , क्यों मार रहे हो इस बेचारे को ?" शेर बोला," यह कमीना पिछली बार भी Bhang पी कर मुझे 3 घंटे जंगल मै घुमाता रहा "

A AND B

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

Factory workers

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Teacher and Maria

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

मरीज डॉक्टर

मरीज (डॉक्टर से)- डॉक्टर साहब क्या आप मेरी बीमारी का पता लगा सकते हैं।
डॉक्टर (गुस्से से)- हां तुम्हारी आंखें बहुत कमजोर हैं।
मरीज- आपको कैसे पता चला?
डॉक्टर- तुमने बाहर बोर्ड पर नही पढ़ा कि मैं जानवरों का डॉक्टर हूं।

Sardar

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

PAPA AUR BETA

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.