Wife Husband

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.

गोल

शाम :- (फुटबाल के मैदानपर राम से ) - अरे ये लोग बार बार  ball  को क्यों मार रहे है ?

राम :- '' अरे वे लोग गोल कर रहे है ''
शाम : '' अरे ball  तो पहलेसे गोल है , और कितना गोल करेंगे ...............?

money in kitty

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was money in the kitty.

Biwi & Shohar

Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”

Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chodne ka iraada hai.”

from many resources

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with
me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."

चूहा

एक चीता Cigarette का सुट्टा लगाने ही वाला था, एक हाथी अफीम पी रहा था , चूहा बोला,"मेरे भाई छोड़ दो नशा आओ मेरे साथ खुबसूरत जंगल देखो" 2 साथ दौड़ने लगा.आगे शेर whisky पीने की तैयारी कर रहा था , चूहे ने उसे भी वही कहा. शेर ने चूहे को 5- 6 थप्पड़ मारे.हाथी बोला ," अरे ये तो तुम्हे ज़िन्दगी की तरफ ले जा रहा है , क्यों मार रहे हो इस बेचारे को ?" शेर बोला," यह कमीना पिछली बार भी Bhang पी कर मुझे 3 घंटे जंगल मै घुमाता रहा "

A AND B

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

Factory workers

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

Teacher and Maria

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

मरीज डॉक्टर

मरीज (डॉक्टर से)- डॉक्टर साहब क्या आप मेरी बीमारी का पता लगा सकते हैं।
डॉक्टर (गुस्से से)- हां तुम्हारी आंखें बहुत कमजोर हैं।
मरीज- आपको कैसे पता चला?
डॉक्टर- तुमने बाहर बोर्ड पर नही पढ़ा कि मैं जानवरों का डॉक्टर हूं।

Sardar ji in cyber cafe

Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was waiting when sardarji cried out "Yes yes I know your password.I can read your mails now.
"Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".
Sardarji replied " Five stars."

Kid and mother

Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.

Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

Laloo Stamp

When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over

Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it. He asked Rabri, stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and

Lalloo was pleased.

But within a couple of days, he began hearing

complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at

several post offices, and then reported to Lalloo Prasad: She said: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side."

Sunil Gavaskar & Ravi Shastri

australia playing india at wankhede

gavasker enters the stadium

ravi and kapil greet sunny

hi sunny whats up ?

match goes on after a hour or so ravi turns to see sunny still standing so ravi hey why are u standing sunny what to do dude look there it says sunil gavasker stand

hockey and cricket

Q: what is the difference between hockey and circket?
Ans: hockey main team 1.5 hours main zaleel hoti hai
aur circket main 8 ghante main

sharaabi and his wife

A sharaabi knocks the door of his house.
His wife opens door.
Sharaabi asks: who r u?
Wife: "How dare u forget your wife?"
Sharaabi: nasha har gham ko bula deta hai

Disk full

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.
Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!

Hutch Dealer

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog

how it is possible?

Because her husband is HUTCH DEALER ...... wherever u go out network follows.

kabhi khushi kabhi gham

osama bin laden asked shahrukh khan hows life

shahrukh said khabi khushi khabi gham

then shahrukh asked osama bin laden hows life and he said kabhi

goli khabi

bomb

Alphabets

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.