संता

संता किसी लड़की के घर रिश्ता लेकर गया। लड़की के मां-बाप बोले हमारी बेटी अभी पढ़ रही है।
संता- कोई बात नही हम एक घंटे बाद आ जाएंगे।

centre govt holidays

School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?

Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt  holidays!

Boy

Teacher : "I love you" ka janam kaha hua?
Boy : China me.Kyonki iski na koi gurranty hai aur na koi warranty, chale to chand tak na chale to shaam tak.

watchman & blonde

Museum Watchman: That is a 500 year old statue you have broken.

Blond: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Wife Husband

Wife : Mujhe kisi mehengi jagah le kar chaliye na.
Husband : Chalo; tayyar ho jao.
Wife : Kaha.
Husband : petrol pump par.

Divorce lawyer

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing `Love` stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he`s doing.

`I`m sending out 1,000 Valentine`s Day cards signed, `Guess who?`
`But why?` asks the man.
`I`m a divorce lawyer.`

Laloo & Rabri

Laloo and Rabri were on an African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged Rabri with his jaws.

Rabri: Shoot him, Shoot him!

Laloo: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.