Wafadar Pati

jo pati wafadar hote hai wo mar kar sidhe swarg me jate hai aur jo wafadar nahi hote unke liye to dharti hi swarg ban jati hai...

Haryana men

2 Haryanvi men were searching for their lost wife in a festival at Hissar city.

First Haryanvi:  How does your wife look like?

Second Haryanvi: She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure, fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair... And yours?

First Haryanvi: Forget mine, let us look for yours...

donkey

ek admi bus me bola : Lagta hai bus me janvar bhare hai.
doosra admin : Haan sabhi tarah ke janvar hai; sirf ek gadhe ki kami thi.

Teacher & Student

Teacher : Give example of active and passive voice.
Student : Active-TERE MAST MAST DO NAIN MERE DIL KA LE GAYE CHAIN.
Passive-MERE DIL KA LE GAYE CHAIN TERE MAST MAST DO NAIN. :)

Baniya

Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

chiti aur hathi

Chiti ne hathi ke kaan me kuch kaha to hathi behosh ho gaya.
actually chiti boli : Main tumhare bacchhe ki maa banne wali hu.

Police

Police : Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Suresh : ha ha ha.
Police : kyu hass rahe ho?
Suresh : Mai to subah 8 baje tak sota hu.