Electricity bill

Ek chota baccha doosre bacche se agar agar din me suraj nahi nikla toh kya hoga.
Doosra baccha: Electricity bill bad jayega

Boy & Girl

Boy:Main tumse shaadi nahi kar sakta, gharwale mana kar rahe hai.
Girl:Ghar me kaun kaun hai?
Boy:Ek biwi aur 3 bachhe.

Pappu

Teacher:Mamooli word ko sentence mein istemaal karo. Pappu ne socha... socha... socha...aur bola:Meri maa mooli ke parathe bahut khati hai.

Dog & Cat

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me...
I must be a god!

पुलिस

पुलिस (राकेश से)- खबर है कि आपके घर में विस्फोटक सामग्री है।
राकेश - सर खबर तो एक दम पक्की है पर वो अभी मायके गयी हुई है।:)

सपना

पति- जान, मैंने रात एक बहुत प्यारा सपना देखा। मैंने देखा कि तुम मेरे लिए मेरा पसंदीदा खाना बनाकर लाई हो और मुझे अपने हाथों से खिला रही हो। इतना ही नहीं, खाना खिलाने के बाद मेरे पैर भी दबा रही हो।
पत्नी- अब तो मुझे पक्का यकीन हो गया।
पति- क्या?
पत्नी- कि सपना कभी अपना नहीं होता।

Chemistry Class

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.
Shyam, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.” :)