Happy new year 2011

Haapy New year 2011,
Kyonki Kaviraj Kabirji ne Kaha hai
kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab, network busy ho jayega,
Wish Karega Kab

work station

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
What more can I say……..

Mad

A school inspector asked the class, "If length of the platform is 200 metres and speed of the train is 100 kilometres what should be my age?" 
Noting the absurdity of the question, a clever student answered, "Fifty years, sir." The answer was absolutely correct. 
The inspector was astounded. He asked the boy his method of calculation. "Simple, sir," the boy replied, "I have an elder brother aged 25 years and everybody calls him half mad!" 

Friends

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."


The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"


The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

रामू

रामू की पत्नी ने फ्राइंगपैन उठाकर रामू के सिर पर दे मारा।

रामू (चिल्लाते हुए)- तुमने मुझे क्यों मारा।

पत्नी- तुम्हारी डायरी में किसी बसंती का नाम लिखा है। कौन है ये बसंती?

रामू- कल मैंने रेस में जिस घोड़ी पर दांव लगाया था। उसका नाम है।

पत्नी- अच्छा आय एम सॉरी!

अगले दिन रामू की बीवी ने फिर मारा।

रामू- अब क्यों मारा?

पत्नी- तुम्हारी घोड़ी का फोन आया है.. जाकर उठा लो!!!!

Gandhi ji

Gandhiji Marne Se Pehle Kya The?
....................... No Idea...?
Chal main hi bata deti hu Gandhiji Marne Se Pehle 'ZINDA' the !!

Bunty

Teacher:Is line ko english me banao:usne apna kaam kiya aur karta hi gaya.
Bunty:He done his work and done dana dan dan

Santa Banta

Snta daaru pi k taala kholne Laga
Hath kapne ki vajh se tala nhi khula
Bnta-me khol du

Snta-me khol lunga tu makan pakd sala Hil rha h

चिंटू

चिंटू कक्षा में एक गधा लेकर आया।
अध्यापक (चिंटू से)- इसको कक्षा में क्यों लेकर आए हो?
चिंटू- सर आपने ही तो कहा था कि आपने कई गधों को इंसान बनाया है, अब इसे बनाओ..!!!

संता

संता किसी लड़की के घर रिश्ता लेकर गया। लड़की के मां-बाप बोले हमारी बेटी अभी पढ़ रही है।
संता- कोई बात नही हम एक घंटे बाद आ जाएंगे।

centre govt holidays

School Teacher: What is common between Buddha, Jesus, Mahavir and Guru Nanak Dev Ji?

Student: All of them were born on Indian centre govt  holidays!

Boy

Teacher : "I love you" ka janam kaha hua?
Boy : China me.Kyonki iski na koi gurranty hai aur na koi warranty, chale to chand tak na chale to shaam tak.

watchman & blonde

Museum Watchman: That is a 500 year old statue you have broken.

Blond: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Wife Husband

Wife : Mujhe kisi mehengi jagah le kar chaliye na.
Husband : Chalo; tayyar ho jao.
Wife : Kaha.
Husband : petrol pump par.

Divorce lawyer

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing `Love` stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he`s doing.

`I`m sending out 1,000 Valentine`s Day cards signed, `Guess who?`
`But why?` asks the man.
`I`m a divorce lawyer.`

Laloo & Rabri

Laloo and Rabri were on an African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged Rabri with his jaws.

Rabri: Shoot him, Shoot him!

Laloo: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.